Criticism is certainly not easy to handle… esp for men who have an ego ….. (do I have one, I guess yes)… so first let us understand what is ego …
Ego in simpler definition is your own opinion about yourself… u feel you r always right …. People say you have ego….. then what is it self esteem ?…. Are they same ?
No the line between ego and self esteem is thin but yes they are distinctively different !!!!
Due to ego we prefer to shun whenever any one says anythin bad @ us… or criticize us … we react at it….. we deny the very presence of faults in us…
So what should we do ???? how do we train or condition our mind to accept criticism …. Perhaps solution lies in following way
Think you are standing in front of mirror ….. what ever is truth the mirror shows u…. I cannot be Tom Cruise when I look at myself in the mirror, I will still be Miresh only… similarly if some one criticizes, think u are standing in front of the mirror ….. yes yes easy to say but difficult to implement (Ask my wife n she will vouch for this, even in her sleep)
Yes, I do have trouble listening to criticism, I get defensive or I get over aggressive, I try to justify my act , I don’t listen to what people are saying !!!
So the second thing one needs to do is “Be a Good Listener”… keep listening, keep listening b’cos not only it helps u to handle criticism but it also helps you to build your patience.
Listener ….. Be receptive not reactive
Third is be receptive to what you hear… but don’t be reactive , the issue is, when there is any act we react to that and then people feel you are not receptive or open to new ideas and both end up fighting or sulking ……..
Three things three rules ….and perhaps you will turn into a new person…. So here it is... I have committed to myself to do all this….. and yes I will succeed !!!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Success an HABIT……5/365
If you are wondering what is this 5/365 ….. read it d till last para……..
Just reading “BIG B's” blog…. Was wondering how did he manage to get so much success and more than that, the patience to strive for super success even after failures !!!
Remember he had 13 flops in a row… I mean what must have gone thru his mind at that point of time, would b interesting to know that…. Some day I will ask him to tell me @ this phase of his life…. There after the phase prior to “Kaun Banega Crorepati”….. again a string of flops then bankruptcy of ABCL…..people saying that AB is finished now and man he answers every one by getting voted as MAN of MILLENNIUM !!!!
From where he gets so much success… I guess the answer lies in his energy…. No matter what happens, he still keeps going as if he has just come out of his teens and is a young guy eager to prove his metal to the world.
Second thing is his commitment level to everything he does, read his blog….every day he uploads it….so whatever he does he takes it to completion.Moreover he believes in himself and believes that success will be his ………
Lastly he knows how to handle success… he maintains distance with people when required and he lets his hair down when he feels the need to, and is easily approachable by rather some one like us… the mere mortal guys !!! One of my friend’s cousin is in film fraternity and had the opportunity to interact with Amitji on the set of “Nishabdh” ….. he told us that Amitji had asked him to help him with booking of his tickets for Mumbai from Lucknow….. this chap helped Amitji and afterwards when Amitji came back he handed his printout of airline ticket with his autograph for the assistance given ….. this is what acknowledgement means …. Its instantaneous and as we learned “Good things come back to you when you do good things your self “
Hope I manage to get some inspiration from him… and this is why I named this blog as "Success a Habit ….. 5/365"… if you read my first blog of New Year, I mentioned about tryin to blog everyday, but todate I did not keep my commitment. So this score board will help me to track how many days I manage to upload out of 365……
Success, here I come with renewed vigor and hope ……….
Just reading “BIG B's” blog…. Was wondering how did he manage to get so much success and more than that, the patience to strive for super success even after failures !!!
Remember he had 13 flops in a row… I mean what must have gone thru his mind at that point of time, would b interesting to know that…. Some day I will ask him to tell me @ this phase of his life…. There after the phase prior to “Kaun Banega Crorepati”….. again a string of flops then bankruptcy of ABCL…..people saying that AB is finished now and man he answers every one by getting voted as MAN of MILLENNIUM !!!!
From where he gets so much success… I guess the answer lies in his energy…. No matter what happens, he still keeps going as if he has just come out of his teens and is a young guy eager to prove his metal to the world.
Second thing is his commitment level to everything he does, read his blog….every day he uploads it….so whatever he does he takes it to completion.Moreover he believes in himself and believes that success will be his ………
Lastly he knows how to handle success… he maintains distance with people when required and he lets his hair down when he feels the need to, and is easily approachable by rather some one like us… the mere mortal guys !!! One of my friend’s cousin is in film fraternity and had the opportunity to interact with Amitji on the set of “Nishabdh” ….. he told us that Amitji had asked him to help him with booking of his tickets for Mumbai from Lucknow….. this chap helped Amitji and afterwards when Amitji came back he handed his printout of airline ticket with his autograph for the assistance given ….. this is what acknowledgement means …. Its instantaneous and as we learned “Good things come back to you when you do good things your self “
Hope I manage to get some inspiration from him… and this is why I named this blog as "Success a Habit ….. 5/365"… if you read my first blog of New Year, I mentioned about tryin to blog everyday, but todate I did not keep my commitment. So this score board will help me to track how many days I manage to upload out of 365……
Success, here I come with renewed vigor and hope ……….
Saturday, January 16, 2010
My take on 3 idiots…..
January 17th 2010…12.13 am
Just watched 3 idiots…second time…to be frank this movie is going in my all time collection list. It’s simply awesome….every thing that we face in real life perhaps no other movie has able to capture it as beautifully as this movie did.
No, I didn’t help someone deliver a baby in my final year of engineering ( I still struggle with Power Electronics I studied in my BE, inspite of working on it for last three years and also teaching it for one year) , neither did I pee at the director’s house… but yes I did some thing similar gutsy and thank my professors for ignoring that mistake…..
Well yes some of you may say…this is not true. Life does not go like this, my answer is… Yes, this is true! Life can go like this, we don’t accept that we can change life according to what we want. The protagonist ….Rancho alias Phunsuk actually makes life go on his terms and I agree to that way. I remember in my college days in one of the lecture we managed to take wada pav inside, gave numerous proxy’s, bunked lectured “officially” did every thing which perhaps normal guy was not doing… we challenged system in our own way no I am not comparing myslf with Rancho….rather over the years I found myself more like Raju.
What I wanted to say is from kind of rebel we became followers. Why this change … why could I not challenge the system now, it is because when you grow and come into the “real world” you adapt a baby…it is called as ‘FEAR’ !!!!
Fear gripped more and more and I found myself facing odd issues and troubles which I thought would never occur in my life, why, b’cos rather than the journey I was always going behind targets. Something what the character Raju was also facing.
Well one decade has passed…ten years since I passed out of engineering and if I wish to analyze what I achieved in life, then perhaps I could definitely say that I had the potential to do much better, however some where I lost track because I was focusing too much ……..
Life / success, make them live on your terms rather you living on their terms, since few weeks I am experimenting some things with my personality. I am slowly releasing grip over fear, I am slowly not focusing on targets, neither am I comparing the speed of my train with others. To be frank this is easily said than done. I read a status line of one of my friends…she had written “ We are not creatures of circumstance rather we are creators of circumstance”… how true.
You are surrounded by people who will keep comparing you with others, that is your real test, leave them aside, think for a moment you are stuck alone in island …what would you do ? you would do every thing to survive …but only initially, once you realized that your stuck you will make that place your habitat, enhance your skills, and one fine day like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” set off on your own and reach civilization …….. life goes on with or without us… do everything that you feel is right…..and then see the world will also feel the same as you do !!!!! ……3 Cheers to Rancho …… !!!
Just watched 3 idiots…second time…to be frank this movie is going in my all time collection list. It’s simply awesome….every thing that we face in real life perhaps no other movie has able to capture it as beautifully as this movie did.
No, I didn’t help someone deliver a baby in my final year of engineering ( I still struggle with Power Electronics I studied in my BE, inspite of working on it for last three years and also teaching it for one year) , neither did I pee at the director’s house… but yes I did some thing similar gutsy and thank my professors for ignoring that mistake…..
Well yes some of you may say…this is not true. Life does not go like this, my answer is… Yes, this is true! Life can go like this, we don’t accept that we can change life according to what we want. The protagonist ….Rancho alias Phunsuk actually makes life go on his terms and I agree to that way. I remember in my college days in one of the lecture we managed to take wada pav inside, gave numerous proxy’s, bunked lectured “officially” did every thing which perhaps normal guy was not doing… we challenged system in our own way no I am not comparing myslf with Rancho….rather over the years I found myself more like Raju.
What I wanted to say is from kind of rebel we became followers. Why this change … why could I not challenge the system now, it is because when you grow and come into the “real world” you adapt a baby…it is called as ‘FEAR’ !!!!
Fear gripped more and more and I found myself facing odd issues and troubles which I thought would never occur in my life, why, b’cos rather than the journey I was always going behind targets. Something what the character Raju was also facing.
Well one decade has passed…ten years since I passed out of engineering and if I wish to analyze what I achieved in life, then perhaps I could definitely say that I had the potential to do much better, however some where I lost track because I was focusing too much ……..
Life / success, make them live on your terms rather you living on their terms, since few weeks I am experimenting some things with my personality. I am slowly releasing grip over fear, I am slowly not focusing on targets, neither am I comparing the speed of my train with others. To be frank this is easily said than done. I read a status line of one of my friends…she had written “ We are not creatures of circumstance rather we are creators of circumstance”… how true.
You are surrounded by people who will keep comparing you with others, that is your real test, leave them aside, think for a moment you are stuck alone in island …what would you do ? you would do every thing to survive …but only initially, once you realized that your stuck you will make that place your habitat, enhance your skills, and one fine day like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” set off on your own and reach civilization …….. life goes on with or without us… do everything that you feel is right…..and then see the world will also feel the same as you do !!!!! ……3 Cheers to Rancho …… !!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Why it happens with me only !!
I am sure you all will agree with this statement. Every one of us in certain situations desperately says it out… Oh God why only with me …..we miss deadlines… boss yells …… family disturbs….some one dumps…..every thing happens in wrong way…
What do we do when we get failures inspite of numerous efforts… do we quit or should we still continue with our efforts. Why with me also brings another question…..why other succeed and I fail. Is it destiny or is it lack of my efforts.
Over years this failure also results in depletion of confidence and patience and then we resign to our fate and stop giving our efforts. This after knowing that human should keep giving best efforts and should not bother @ results. But can we be so selfless, the moment we start any activity don’t we start analyzing the result we will get and try to dream @ it… but then at the end we end up failing…..how you train your mind for this. I know there are ways like mediations, self help books, motivational talk everything but do they really work ??
My friend who is big believer of all this things said the basic parenthesis of manifestation and other self help techniques is that you should have faith in it. Ok so let me say that for a moment I do have belief in these things….still I do get failures. What would be reason behind this ? Perhaps we may have some lack somewhere…need to find answer !!!!!!
There was a story @ Arthur Ash (famous tennis player). When he came to know that during one of blood transfusion he got infected with AIDS, one reporter asked him that doesn’t he want to ask God “why only he” to which Arthur Ash replied following
“World wide 5 million people play tennis, out of which 50000 make it to professional level. Out of that 5000 play some kind of tournament at some stage of life and 500 of them manage to hit international circuit. Out of that 500 some 50 manage to play in Grand Slam and out of that 50 only 1 wins Grand Slam. When I won Grand Slam I didn’t ask God….Why he choose me only?? So when he gave me this problem I cannot ask Why me only??”. Nice story but are we such optimistic all the time.
I pondered over and over realize one thing that one of the main reason of failure is “Fear of Success”. We fear that we may not able to digest this success, we may not able to handle so much fame, so much money and when this thought occurs in our mind we automatically fail… its irritating we want success yet we fear @ it……
If we look on broader scale perhaps there are two issues 1. Lack of Conviction in own actions & 2. Presence of fears which prevents man from getting success… next blog with some more light on these points… Keep commenting guys !!! ending with my current fav song lines…. Give me some sunshine….give some rain….give me one more chance ….. I want to grow up once again
What do we do when we get failures inspite of numerous efforts… do we quit or should we still continue with our efforts. Why with me also brings another question…..why other succeed and I fail. Is it destiny or is it lack of my efforts.
Over years this failure also results in depletion of confidence and patience and then we resign to our fate and stop giving our efforts. This after knowing that human should keep giving best efforts and should not bother @ results. But can we be so selfless, the moment we start any activity don’t we start analyzing the result we will get and try to dream @ it… but then at the end we end up failing…..how you train your mind for this. I know there are ways like mediations, self help books, motivational talk everything but do they really work ??
My friend who is big believer of all this things said the basic parenthesis of manifestation and other self help techniques is that you should have faith in it. Ok so let me say that for a moment I do have belief in these things….still I do get failures. What would be reason behind this ? Perhaps we may have some lack somewhere…need to find answer !!!!!!
There was a story @ Arthur Ash (famous tennis player). When he came to know that during one of blood transfusion he got infected with AIDS, one reporter asked him that doesn’t he want to ask God “why only he” to which Arthur Ash replied following
“World wide 5 million people play tennis, out of which 50000 make it to professional level. Out of that 5000 play some kind of tournament at some stage of life and 500 of them manage to hit international circuit. Out of that 500 some 50 manage to play in Grand Slam and out of that 50 only 1 wins Grand Slam. When I won Grand Slam I didn’t ask God….Why he choose me only?? So when he gave me this problem I cannot ask Why me only??”. Nice story but are we such optimistic all the time.
I pondered over and over realize one thing that one of the main reason of failure is “Fear of Success”. We fear that we may not able to digest this success, we may not able to handle so much fame, so much money and when this thought occurs in our mind we automatically fail… its irritating we want success yet we fear @ it……
If we look on broader scale perhaps there are two issues 1. Lack of Conviction in own actions & 2. Presence of fears which prevents man from getting success… next blog with some more light on these points… Keep commenting guys !!! ending with my current fav song lines…. Give me some sunshine….give some rain….give me one more chance ….. I want to grow up once again
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
One Office, Two Car, Three Idiots
(Opps I hope Chetan Bhagat and Vindu Chopra don’t sue me)
This blog dedicated to “ The Puneri”
8.35 am : Puneri along with his wife drives in my society in his gleaming Ford Ikon
8.45 am: I am happy to get lift to office (@ Wadia College chowk) looking at mere mortals who need to drive to office….
8.46 am: Something burning – me intelligently saying it is from outside not of car & then CAR STALLS !!!!
8.46.52 am: We manage to start car, move from signal, people applauding us by honking…felt first time in life that we are important as traffic stops b’cos of us
9.03 am : Dr. Castrol Ford (one of the onlookers) finally finishes the peeping tom activity at engine and suggests us (free of cost) – One litre of Castrol is required… engine oil is not there !!!
9.05 am: Me (Engineer on Paper), The Puneri (Economist made from mould of engineer), Bosho (Economist, Hopelessly Non Technical) do a quick fish bone analysis and come to conclusion it is AC ka problem, let us drive without AC.
9.06 am : Car again comes to life – back to road… hit the dirt baby ……….
9.15 am : we are near office – decide to take detour---- car stops AGAIN !!!!!! People applauding again… what a feeling
9.16 am : Frantic Calling to everybody !
9.17 am: the garage owner finally answers our prayers and answers Bosho’s call….. help is on the way … Honda City with mechanics
10.05 am : finally car arrives , we were told it would be there in 15 minutes (IST – Indian Stretchable Time). Till then we kill our time looking at Dogs at Garbage Bin….. discussing with every onlookers @ the problem, cursing few people…. Etc etc…
10.15 am: mechanics arrive - analysis complete – water pump gone !!!!! this car was refurbished and sold had six months warranty …… and water pump gone ……… Puneri and Bosho freaks !!!! Puneri says Bosho…. U talk with the guy who sold this car to us… he needs to give us explanation…… (After all Bosho's knows how to get angry... Puneri is sweet guy u see)
10.30 am: Bosho call’s up showroom… blast the guy in front….. the guy replies in some technical language bosho answers “ had I technical knowledge” I would have manufactured car myself !!!!!!!! Me & Puneri fainted…….. nee way settles to some compensation. Garage guys drop us to office in Honda City J. – 11.00 am ....left home in Ikon and reached office in Honda City
The story continues after this also, however Puneri will be telling the details……
Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Year New Resolutions & Happiness
Every Year I make resoulutions so do all of u :) i know .... & 99 % of us fail miserably to maintain them. Why so ? are we lazy? do we allow our mind to take control of our actions? or do we simply don't wan't to come out of our individual comfort levels. I guess that the last reason is more appropriate. I mean I would like to get up early morning go for a brisk walk... do some excercise be in shape etc etc.. but every day I sucssessfully manage to do only one thing.. Procrastinate it... simply tell my mind.....tmmrw I will do it. No wonder my tmmrw never comes.
Start of new decade I thought of doing some serious makeover, and one of the thing that came in my mind was do some serious blogging....now ofocurse why becasue I am reading one book which says that whatever we want to achieve in life we should start declaring it ....declaration is step ahead of affirmation, it creates impact and universe starts acting like that, you yourself start acting like that. I liked that thought, but how do I do this declaration ? The book says I do it by saying it daily in front of mirror, so here I am writing my declaration on mirror where the entire world see's itself "The WEB". Perhaps the peer pressure will make me come out of my individual comfort zone and I will actually start doing things rather than thinking them... check with me when I start my excercise regime.
Let me ask one question to all of you, how many of us are happy with what we have? If you ask me according to me I am 50 % happy with what I got...and if I ask how many you were thinking that I must be nearly 90 % or 100 % happy with what I got? My hunch is it must be aleast 70 - 80 % of you who were thinking that I am perfectly happy. Well sadly no.. there are many things in my life which I want to change..so how do I define Happiness... sounds similar naa most to this motivitional books try to answer this question haunted to mankind for ages and tell about happiness that how happiness defination changes from time to time as per your age you will look for different kind of happiness....from education to money to spouse to children to health and finally happiness in death. You actually start saying to almighty that you want peaceful death not surrounded by pipes and injections and medicine.
So how do we achieve this? How do we ensure that we get success that we are looking for, we are constantly happy with what we have got! We don't crib ? So lets try to find some answers on this... I will try to put some thing on this next week...till then happy reading and happy finding answer....
Start of new decade I thought of doing some serious makeover, and one of the thing that came in my mind was do some serious blogging....now ofocurse why becasue I am reading one book which says that whatever we want to achieve in life we should start declaring it ....declaration is step ahead of affirmation, it creates impact and universe starts acting like that, you yourself start acting like that. I liked that thought, but how do I do this declaration ? The book says I do it by saying it daily in front of mirror, so here I am writing my declaration on mirror where the entire world see's itself "The WEB". Perhaps the peer pressure will make me come out of my individual comfort zone and I will actually start doing things rather than thinking them... check with me when I start my excercise regime.
Let me ask one question to all of you, how many of us are happy with what we have? If you ask me according to me I am 50 % happy with what I got...and if I ask how many you were thinking that I must be nearly 90 % or 100 % happy with what I got? My hunch is it must be aleast 70 - 80 % of you who were thinking that I am perfectly happy. Well sadly no.. there are many things in my life which I want to change..so how do I define Happiness... sounds similar naa most to this motivitional books try to answer this question haunted to mankind for ages and tell about happiness that how happiness defination changes from time to time as per your age you will look for different kind of happiness....from education to money to spouse to children to health and finally happiness in death. You actually start saying to almighty that you want peaceful death not surrounded by pipes and injections and medicine.
So how do we achieve this? How do we ensure that we get success that we are looking for, we are constantly happy with what we have got! We don't crib ? So lets try to find some answers on this... I will try to put some thing on this next week...till then happy reading and happy finding answer....
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